If you had to dream up the perfect way to draw millions of internet-obsessed nerds to come see your film, what would you do?
Make sure you featured a kickass cat in it, obviously.
Luckily, the creators of Captain Marvel got the memo and from early reports, we know the film’s feline friend, Goose, really delivers on the kitty goodness.
Listen, we here at FANGRRLS could not be more excited about Carol Danvers’ big screen debut, but today, we’re here to talk about Goose and all of the other amazing cats in genre. Unfortunately, we don’t know that much about Goose, yet. In the comic books, Danvers’ cat Chewie has a whole mysterious, awesome life, but it’s unclear to what extent Goose is the same animal as Chewie. We do know that Goose is a real showstopper in the film. He’s so amazing, in fact, that he eclipses Samuel L. Jackson, at least in Brie Larson’s estimation.
Disclaimer: If you are a person who takes offense at someone calling an adult cat a kitty or a kitten, you’re going to want to keep on clicking. We are very pro calling floofs whatever we want.
Chewie (Captain Marvel)
Throughout her escapades as Ms. and then Captain Marvel in the comics, Carol Danvers can always rely on the love and support of her furry friend, Chewie, so named because Danvers is a hardcore Star Wars fan. When her journey takes her to outer space, Chewie comes along, but Rocket, of Guardians of the Galaxy fame, warns Danvers that Chewie is actually a Flerken, a dangerous alien species that he wants to eliminate. Danvers prevents Rocket from killing Chewie, leaving Chewie plenty of time to lay 117 eggs because, WHAT THE HELL, Danvers’ housecat actually was a Flerken, a creature containing pocket dimensions inside their little catlike body. Let’s just say Danvers does the right thing and takes the Flerkitties, which is obviously what juvenile Flerkens are called, to a rescue.
That’s right, honey. On this spaceship, we adopt — even when it comes to priceless space-kitties. (All kitties are priceless.)
Salem (Sabrina the Teenage Witch)
In the comics, on TV, and in film, there have been several interpretations of the witch-confined-to-cat-hood, Salem Saberhagen. But, it’s hard to beat the smart-aleck chocked full of wisdom — when he feels like sharing — on Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
When Salem had his human body, he tried to take over the world, but that didn’t work out and instead, he got stuck in the body of a black cat for a century as punishment. While living with the Spellmans, Salem helps and causes trouble for Sabrina, almost in equal parts. He’s known better for his evil machinations than for his big heart, but this furry sweetheart has a real soft spot for his Sabreeny. Add to that his attractions to humans of multiple genders and you’ve got one interesting feline.
When the U.S. government develops cybernetic enhancements and armor for military battle, they turn three pets into killing machines. I mean, what could go wrong? Oh right, everything. One of the animal-cyborgs is a cat named Tinker, a pragmatic, standoffish being who really just wants to get away from humans, which is really the only reasonable response to being experimented on by the government. When the three pets are freed, they try to find home, instead they meet a man living in homelessness. The government tracks them down and tries to kill all three pets by using another enhanced animal. This time they choose a big bruiser of a dog, an English Mastiff called We4. Working with her buddy Bandit, Tinker defeats the poor Mastiff. (Listen, that dog didn’t ask to get experimented on either, okay?) The two are able to shed their armor, the human they met removes their cybernetic enhancements, and together, Tinker, Bandit, and their unnamed human become a little family.
While working aboard the spaceship tanker Nostromo, Ellen Ripley brings on a cool cat named Jonesy. For business reasons, people! It may be the future, but that doesn’t change that nobody does mouse control like a bona fide kitty cat. Not only does Jonesy turn out to be a great companion, but he also narrowly manages to avoid being murdered by a xenomorph. His iconic reaction when he comes face to face with the being will forever be remembered as a big kitty NOPE. Only Ripley and Jonesy survive their encounter with the alien before going into cryostasis for 57 years. Does that make Jonesy the oldest (Earth) cat ever?
Lying Cat (Saga)
Saga is a space opera about two star-crossed lovers and their daughter. As this sweet family runs from their homes and their people, a bounty hunter called The Will chases them. He’s accompanied by a very large, mystical space kitty who can always tell when someone is deliberately lying. Lying Cat is The Will’s BFF and helps him endlessly as he bounty-hunts his way through the galaxy. She isn’t just a lie detector, though. Lying Cat is a fearless warrior, protector, and friend. Despite the fact that she’s almost as tall as a human while standing on all fours, the reader learns that Lying Cat was actually the runt of her litter. I don’t know about you, but I do not want to meet the rest of Lying Cat’s litter.
Spot (Star Trek: The Next Generation)
What better way to understand humanity than to live alongside a cat? Cats are funny, fickle, friendly, and furry — just like humans. And, there isn’t much Data craves to understand more than humanity. When he gets a cat named Spot, he becomes enraptured with caring for his little feline companion and Spot returns the favor by being loving, gentle, and a giant d*ck to anyone who isn’t Data. One time she even sends Riker to sickbay when she scratches his face, hissing, “THIS ONE’S FOR DEANNA.” Okay, so Spot can’t actually talk and that last bit was made up, but I guarantee that’s what she was thinking.
Crookshanks (Harry Potter)
Hermione Granger (and the rest of her friends, including some dork named Harry) would never have survived Hogwarts if it wasn’t for her familiar, Crookshanks. Not only is this magical kitty super intelligent and super into Wizard’s Chess, but he also sniffs out Peter Pettigrew when he’s in his rat form, posing as Ron’s pet Scabbers. Seriously, from day one, second one of meeting Scabbers, Crookshanks tries to show his human and her friends that there is something amiss with this little bastard. Even when Harry begins to fight Sirius, Crookshanks does everything he can to stop him, ultimately covering Sirius’ heart with his own body to stop Harry from hurting him. Of course, when everyone realizes Scabbers is Pettigrew, it’s all “Yay Crookshanks!” and “Good kitty!” So maybe next time a cat tells you someone is an assh*le, believe them.
Depression Kitty (Big Mouth)
We love you, Depression Kitty. First, for your regular visitation upon our lives. And second, for your almost unbearably perfect representation of what it feels like to be depressed.