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Chosen One of the Day: Alien Mac from Earth Girls Are Easy

Contributed by
Oct 8, 2018

It’s easy to see why Geena Davis’ Valerie falls for Jeff Goldblum’s alien Mac in Earth Girls Are Easy, the greatest ‘80s sci-fi musical sex comedy to ever exist. He’s calm, patient, concerned over her unhappiness in her terminally on-again, off-again relationship, listens, and, last but not least, he’s played by Jeff Goldblum at the height of his young hotness.

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But that’s the thing: She’s only into him once he’s been de-alienized by a makeover that strips away all his obvious alien attributes. While her friend Candy models an admirable willingness to double down on dating aliens once she’s discovered that they have prehensile tongues, Valerie is a tougher sell. After a night of passion with Mac, she has a wild nightmare about every alien and robot she can think of.

And in the year of our Lord 2k18, this seems really shortsighted. These days, people are openly down with Beasts, Babadooks, and, of course, the proverbial clown. (I will not yuck on someone’s yum I will not yuck on someone’s yum I will not yuck on someone’s yum.) If she’s passing on Mac au naturel, she’s missing out.

I mean, look. For the vocal monster aficionados of the modern age, Mac must be an adorable throwback. The thick, cuddly fur combined with the retro sci-fi outfit — briefs, cuffs, helmet — is a fun and striking look. And, most importantly, Mac possesses the ability to put a touch on someone to heighten the mood, which is how Valerie and Mac end up making the kind of choreographed love that puts the love scene from Top Gun to utter shame.

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His alien attributes are part of what makes Mac lovable, and I hope Valerie can come to terms with his alien form. Because even if Mac decides to stay bald for her, you still have to grow your hair out between waxing appointments. But whatever Mac decides, I’m down for. You do you, Mac. You do you.

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