Into the Spider-Verse bagel guy hero
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Credit: Sony

Chosen One of the Day: Bagel Guy from Into the Spider-Verse

Contributed by
Sep 16, 2020, 10:30 AM EDT

There are so few perfect things in this life, but one of those perfect things is 2018’s Into the Spider-Verse, and not just because of Sad-Millennial Peter Parker, no, because everything in it is perfect—including Bagel Guy. Mmm, bagels. 

Forgive me, it’s been… a long time since my last, wonderful, delicious New York bagel so bear with me and my quiet want. 

ANY way, let me set the scene: Peter and Miles have infiltrated Kingpin’s research facility looking for a way to replace the broken goober. But, uh, they’ve been spotted with a stolen computer. In an attempt to casually get out of the office, they have to walk through the cafeteria. Spidey picks up a bagel (sigh) to distract the many, many, many white coats in the room. 

Credit: Sony

It does not work. 

He plays a switchy switchy game so Miles now has the bagel (SIGH), and Pete holds onto the CPU.  

There are so many weapon-holding lab nerds in hot pursuit and so Miles makes a call. Goodbye bagel! He launches that round piece of beauty into the air and it hits bagel guy right in the kisser. Bagel guy screams out “Bagel!!!” 

Credit: Sony

It’s wonderful. Look at Bagel Guy! Look at him! 

Credit: Sony

"BAGEL!!!" His mouth is wider than a human's mouth should go, his stance completely shifted to something on the cusp of a strange kind of dance. His arms flail, and he seems to fall backwards. "Bagel?!" he must surely be thinking. "Et tu?" 
 

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