Chosen One of the Day: Beebo, your Lord and Master

Contributed by
Apr 11, 2018, 12:25 PM EDT (Updated)

No one can defeat the ultimate evil alone. These battles of life and death, where all of humanity and their immortal souls hang in the balance, they require a team, a combination of personalities uniting into a single force.

Like Voltron.


Or the Megazord (which is basically Voltron but dinosaurs).


Or Captain Planet.


Or Beebo.


“Who is Beebo?” You ask, foolishly unaware of his fuzzy blue eminence. Why, he is only the greatest force of good in the entire universe. He is blue. He is fuzzy. He is relentlessly happy and endlessly hungry.

He is Beebo.

Was he the result of a strange, furry mating ritual between a Teddy Ruxpin and a Furby? Quite possibly, but if we’re being honest we’re too afraid to run the DNA tests.

Was he once the bloodthirsty god of the Vikings? Of course he was. There is, after all, intense wisdom behind his giant, haunting black eyes.


Has he inspired equal parts rage and joy in those who worship at his furry blue feet? Does he have feet? Arguably. The fur makes it very hard to tell.

Will his hunger ever be sated? WE MAY NEVER KNOW.

One thing we know for certain, though, is that when a group of mismatched heroes comes together with their power stone amulet things in an effort to fight a dark, terrible demon from the gates of hell itself, their spirits will join to form a massive, many-stories-tall Beebo, for he is a paragon of goodness and light. He alone can take on the darkness with his shiny demeanor and his belly made for squishing.

He is also kind of a badass.


When you are lost and alone and in need of someone to turn to, when you feel let down by your deity of choice, turn to Beebo. Open your arms wide and squeeze him tight. Or you'll be sorry.

Top stories
Top stories