Chosen One of the Day: Black Phillip

Contributed by
Aug 3, 2018

Everyone who's anyone knows what you're talking about when you say "Black Phillip." In case you've been living under a rock for the last three years, he's one of the stars — nay, THE star — of 2015's The Witch, in which, over the course of the film's 93-minute runtime, he proceeds to do the following:

1) lay around and be so incredibly epic that he has songs made up about him by tiny children
2) gets up on his hind legs and runs around a little bit in a terrifying yet captivating manner
3) literally kills someone by headbutting them
4) oh, and then turns into the actual Devil at the end

That's right. Black Phillip is the goat and also the GOAT. At one point, I posited on Twitter that his human form somewhat resembles the Captain Morgan rum pirate — which makes sense, considering the fact that rum is also a monster. Tasty, until you get a headache the next day.

In real life, Black Phillip's human form was brought to us by gorgeous Toronto-based male model Daniel Wahab Chaudhry, and THIS is what he actually looks like. Talk about living deliciously.


*fans self profusely* OK, where is that book for me to sign?! All I'm saying is that I may need a little guidance of the hand if you know what I mean (and I think you do). 

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