Chosen One of the Day: Bruce Bogtrotter from Matilda

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Jan 11, 2018, 11:34 AM EST (Updated)

Sometimes, when you're having a particular kind of day, all you want to do is sit down and gorge yourself on some sweet, chocolatey comforts. A few squares of dark chocolate from the freezer, maybe. Perhaps a nice little pudding cup or some cookies. Maybe, if you're really in the mood to treat yourself, some ice cream or a slice of chocolate cake. Really, though, you're just fooling yourself, because deep down what you really really want to do is smash that whole damn cake in your face and stress-eat the pain away.

That's why sometimes Bruce Bogtrotter is your personal hero.

Not only did Bruce eat an entire cake in the 1996 children's classic film Matilda, oh no. He ate two whole cakes. And these weren't just any cakes, either. These cakes were an act of defiance.

You see, the first cake was the Trunchbull's own personal cake, which Bruce ate without permission. Now, I am usually not an advocate for stealing other people's food, and I am definitely not one to celebrate the theft of chocolate from a woman who clearly needs her comfort food, but when you are faced with an authoritarian presence like the Trunchbull, sometimes the only thing you can do is have her cake and eat it too.

The second cake, though. That was a rallying cry. A uniting force for change in the world, or at least in their messed-up little school. Bruce, caught chocolate-handed with the Trunchbull's cake, is forced to eat another, bigger cake in front of the whole school. It is meant to be a punishment, a group exercise in horror and humiliation. But where others may have run, Bruce Bogtrotter stared that cake down, its dual layers of fudge and chocolate icing staring right back into his soul, and he ate. And did he vomit? Oh no, dear reader, he did not. He inspired, first with a fork, then with his hands, then with his whole damn face. And he paid dearly for his heroics.

Heroes are not born. They are made in the moments that would best others. Bruce Bogtrotter is a hero; a hero with a chocolate face.

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