Chosen One of the Day: Bruce Wayne's black turtleneck

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May 3, 2017, 3:09 PM EDT (Updated)

There's been many a great debate among nerds, but one of the biggest (at least in my orbit) is the "Who was the best movie Batman?" Those who know me know I’m a Nolan Trilogy fangirl, and I go hard Christian Bale (I know, phrasing), but there is one area where both Nolan and Bale have failed: the lack of black turtleneck in Bruce's wardrobe.

You may be asking aloud, "Cher, does one article of clothing really matter?" To which I am here to tell you, yes. Yes it does.

There's a reason why Sterling Archer is so devoted to the turtleneck (or, as he calls it, tactleneck), and one can only assume that the World's Greatest Spy was at least partly inspired by the World's Greatest Detective.

When Bruce Wayne is wearing a turtleneck, you know he means business. But not, you know, billionaire playboy business (hello, that's what tuxedos and $1800 Armani suits are for). No, the turtleneck means he's up to Batman business. It means he’s heading to the Batcave, and it doesn't take a speleologist to know that caves are dark and damp and cold. Bale's Bruce only ever wears a tee shirt or no shirt (not that I'm complaining) in the Batcave. 

And while Bale in peak fighting shape is a work of art, it's not really the most responsible clothing choice to underdress for such a crappy climate. Obviously the turtleneck is the more sensible clothing option, as well as a versatile one, at that. And versatile it is. Bruce can do many things in a black turtleneck. 

Bruce can be pensive.


Bruce can be angry.


Bruce can be sarcastic.


Bruce can be remorseful.


Bruce can even be a little scared.


The only thing Bruce can't be is happy because we all know that emotion doesn't exist for Bruce Wayne. But if it did, you bet your ass he could do it in a black turtleneck.

You may now be wondering "Does the turtleneck have to be black?" Um, duh, yes! He's THE BATMAN. Black is his thing. The black turtleneck is the one article of clothing that signifies Bruce's true emo self. You know who rocks a black turtleneck? Angsty, misunderstood types with anger issues. Like this guy:


The black turtleneck also evokes the image of the batsuit sans cowl.

It's basically Bruce's everyday cosplay where he cosplays himself because, let's be real, dude has an ego.

The lack of black turtleneck is possibly my biggest gripe about the Nolan Trilogy (Yes, I am serious. The batvoice is sexy because Batbale is sexy, so shut up.). I can only hope that if by some small miracle Batfleck is reading this, he resurrects the look in future flicks.

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