ninja 3 the domination

Chosen One of the Day: Christine from Ninja III: The Domination

Contributed by
Sep 10, 2018

Allow me to introduce you to the character of ~*~*~CHRISTINE~*~*~, the heroine of the 1984 film Ninja III: The Domination.

 

This character has everything.

 

snl stefan

Christine is a telephone repair technician who climbs around fixing telephone poles and telephone lines, making a baggy jumpsuit look better than it has any right to. Is it the '80s hair? It's probably the '80s hair.

 

Did I say '80s? In fact, I did. Which means that Christine, aside from being a telephone repair technician, is also an aerobics instructor. Because of course.

 

 

Behold! The high-cut Jane Fonda couture!

 

Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Telephone repair technician and aerobics instructor.  Huh. That's an odd blend. What does she view as her primary career? What's her passion?" Her passion, I am absolutely thrilled to say, is neither of those things. Because Christine has a third job in Ninja III: The Domination, and that job is possessed ninja.

 

Really, it's not a job, per se. She doesn't get benefits. What's the 401(k) situation for being a possessed ninja? Regardless: On the job one day (not the aerobics one), she comes across a dying ninja who's just gone on a golf course rampage because... reasons. The ninja possesses her and subsequently uses Christine to murder the police officers responsible for the ninja's death. It uses a laser light show emanating from an arcade game in Christine's apartment to cause one particularly nasty possession-fueled blackout because even ninjas are not immune to a sweet-ass '80s laser light show.

 

But back to Christine.

 

Christine is played by Lucinda Dickey, of Breakin' and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo fame.

 

She tries to counter her possession by jazzercizing.

 

But most important of all—about this particular character, about Ninja III, about possibly the entire Western canon of art—is that Christine's idea of foreplay is pouring V8 on her breasts.

 

 

She's a woman of refined tastes.