When it comes to character introductions, it’s tough to beat Beef from Brian De Palma’s Phantom of the Paradise. I want to go out of the world the way Beef came into it: grimacing in a coffin, bedecked in rhinestones and glittered-out granny hair. But he’s not the only genre character with a Ph.D. in Making an Entrance. Llllladies. Meet Chuck.
Chuck (Stephen Quadros) is one of approximately 15 blandly identical white guys in the 1990 cult classic Demon Wind, written and directed by Charles Philip Moore. In terms of set-up, it’s your fairly standard cabin-in-the-woods story, except the cabin is in a field, the field is periodically visited by a fog that causes people trapped in it to time travel, and oh yeah, there’s a guy who rolls up dressed as a magician and then proceeds to play hacky sack with an empty beer can before using his Mad Karate Skills to kick it at the head of his ex's douchebag boyfriend.
Weirdly enough, "wearing a cape, dramatically posing in a convertible driven by a man wearing a cult robe who narrates my arrival over loudspeaker" is how I show up to all my parties.
You can laugh at how this scene was apparently written by a 14-year-old boy, but the fact is that if someone lobbed a can at me and I was able to execute a perfect spinning roundhouse kick to send it right back at their unsuspecting face, I’m pretty sure I could die happy. As in, kill me right then, God, ‘cause life ain’t getting better. Put "a princess should always have flowers!" on my tombstone.