da vinci

Chosen One of the Day: Ever After's Leonardo da Vinci

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Jul 25, 2018, 11:24 AM EDT (Updated)

Fairytales would have us believe all a girl needs to succeed in life is a fairy godmother, but Ever After, the 1990s grrl-power take on the Cinderella fable, argues that what girls REALLY need to succeed is a fairy godFATHER, and that fairy godfather should be Renaissance master and all-around genius Leonardo da Vinci. But not just any da Vinci! Specifically, what a girl needs is a kooky elderly man in a sackcloth and swim cap—I don’t know Renaissance fashion, leave me alone—who dispenses wisdom and uses his mad scientist powers for good, aka helping us to talk to the cute boy down the road.

Da Vinci, one of the greatest intellects in human history, is content to use his waning time on earth farting around the woods with Henry and Danielle, forlorn lovers who are entirely too old for their juvenile relationship struggles. Yet da Vinci never loses patience, remaining almost ruthlessly cheerful in the face of Henry and Danielle’s bumbling attempts at romance. He explains the nature of love and the whimsy of fate to these two dum-dums, and when they STILL can’t get it together he produces the sh*t out of a medieval prom so that they can have a date night.

Ever After’s Leonardo da Vinci is the fairy godparent we all need: endlessly patient, kind, encouraging, and understanding. He will use his towering genius to help you get laid, and he’s probably not totally designing an elaborate machine to murder you the next time you come over looking for advice.

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