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Chosen One of the Day: Gazelle from Kingsman: The Secret Service

Contributed by
Oct 3, 2017

You've probably heard the term "killer pair of shoes." It's usually reserved for a pair of kickass-looking heels that a woman wears to kill in the boardroom or out at the club. If she's lucky they kill at both -- because shoes are expensive, people.

If you're me, this refers to any pair of heels regardless of appearance, because they all result in my own death.

For some lady spies, though, the term is quite literal. Footwear has become a weapon, finally making it worth the pain and discomfort expended in the effort to have a slender ankle. Atomic Blonde made Lorraine Broughton's deadly heels a major part of the trailer.

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Admit it, you would not want to be hit in the face with a bright red pair of heels.

But there's another lady spy whose killer footwear is a major part of her character. This is Gazelle, the extremely violent right-hand man to Samuel L. Jackson's villain in Kingsman: The Secret Service. He might be in charge, but Gazelle -- an extremely talented fighter who can take your head off without breaking a sweat -- is the one you don't want to mess with.

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But what about her footwear? Well, it's made of knives.

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Oh, and it's also her ENTIRE FOOT.

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Gazelle is a double amputee who has opted to wear prosthetic blades. Literally. She's combined the blade feet you see on athletes with literal blades to create what are essentially foot swords, and she uses them to slice and dice Kingsman right, left, and center. She is my hero.

These feet make no logical sense. She should not be able to walk in them, let alone jump around doing flips and kicks and dismembering people using only her lower extremities, but I do not care. If Charlize Theron can run around fighting commies in stilettos in 1980s Germany, then Sofia Boutella can kick British spy ass with her sword feet.

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Get it.