Chosen One of the Day: Gozer the Gozerian

Contributed by
Dec 28, 2018, 10:30 AM EST

Some weird sh*t went down in Astoria last night. 

Allegedly, there was a transformer explosion resulting in blue lights filling the New York City sky. At least that's what THE MAN wants you to think. Because we've seen this before.


Yes, we are positing that the totally explainable blue lights over NYC were in fact Gozer the Gozerian, that hot bitch from Ghostbusters.


Emerging with a sassy Sheena Easton haircut and a full-body unitard made of sparkles and spun sugar, she taught all of us how best to handle all interactions with men: ask if they are a god, and if they are determined unworthy, destroy them. Also, she brought marshmallow snacks for everyone. Sure, she has a bit of a smoker's voice but some tea with lemon and honey should take care of that. Also, she loves dogs. Gozer is the total package. But apparently people prefer a regular old transformer explosion. Whatever. I for one accept our fancy destructor. 

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