I can’t claim to know a lot about Instagram. I have an account, but I barely use it. That means there’s a whole thriving corner of the Internet — fashion photos; #sponcon; heavily-filtered photos of 18-year-olds richer than I will ever be — that I’m unfamiliar with. That’s OK. I’m well familiar with the most important part of Instagram, and that is Underworld star Kate Beckinsale’s Instagram account.
That's because Kate Beckinsale is a stone-cold weirdo.
She'll buy a giant costume of her own cat...
...and make ex (and Underworld co-star) Michael Sheen wear the ass end of it.
Speaking of asses, she'll do yoga with a goat propped ever so delicately on hers, like one does.
She will also gently lampoon her own movies, in this case Serendipity.
Here's a bit of Star Wars casting I'd love to see in Episode IX: Beckinsale as "an excitable motherly Ewok who feels it's OK to wear a crop top, might be wrong, doesn't give a f*ck." J.J. Abrams, do the thing.
While we're at it, let's see if we can't set up a Change.org petition to get her in Amazon's billion-dollar Lord of the Rings show as well. She can even bring her own costume!
If you're thinking, "Wow, I just assumed that Kate Beckinsale, as a gorgeous, glamorous actress, wouldn't have a strange and wonderful sense of humor that causes her to prank their partner by wedging a piece of chocolate between their buttcheeks while they sleep in order to make them think they've sh*t themselves when they go to work the next morning. I guess tabloid culture, not to mention the patriarchy, has led me to have preconceived notions about femininity!," it's OK. Kate Beckinsale also knows the struggle: