Chosen One of the Day: Kevin (from Cabin in the Woods)

The Cabin in the Woods is among the most delightful horror offerings of the last decade. The film pokes, prods, and celebrates the biggest tropes in the scary movie genre, from zombie rednecks to creepy twins to — gasp shock awe — mermen. 

And then there's Kevin.

We never see Kevin onscreen. In fact the only evidence of his existence is his name on the whiteboard of murder in the Teen Murder HQ lab with our boys Sitterson and Hadley (Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford). But WHO IS KEVIN? WHAT IS KEVIN? WHY IS GAMORA?

According to Drew Goddard in the The Cabin in the Woods: The Official Visual Companion, Kevin was meant to be “a sweet-looking guy who seemed like he might work at Best Buy — until he dismembers people.” Oh so just me when I worked at Waldenbooks? (Seriously, the people BIG MAD about how Harry Potter was the witchcraft of the devilmonster would have made anyone go full Kevin.)

Kudos to The Cabin in the Woods for reminding us that true terror is in the benign, that our own imaginations are more horrifying than any visual, and mosly realizing that the biggest scariest monster is just...dudes.