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Chosen One of the Day: Miss Honey from Matilda

Contributed by
Aug 2, 2018

There’s this weird thing that happens when you finally, after decades of pretending, admit to yourself that maybe you’re not exactly straight. I’m not talking about that freeing feeling of finally living your truth, or whatever, or even about the first time you get a really stereotypical haircut. I’m talking about that weird moment when you realize all the people and characters you definitely had crushes on when you were a kid but never admitted because look, girls are just pretty and soft and smell nice but that doesn’t mean you LIKE them.

Especially not someone like Miss Honey, Matilda’s teacher and eventual adoptive parent in the film of the same name, which just so happens to be turning 22 today.

No, you didn’t have a crush on Miss Honey. She was just, like, really really pretty. And she had a sweet smile, and she loved reading, and she wanted Matilda to be happy and smart and safe and warm. Her arms made you feel safe and her eyes were all warm and happy AND WHY AM I CRYING?

She lived in this adorable little cottage in the woods that should have been either extremely off-putting in a “do you kill children?” kind of way or the most obnoxiously twee thing in the entire world and yet you still wanted to curl up on her window seat with a cup of tea that you really find disgusting but she offered it to you and is she some kind of very pretty witch? Does it matter if she kills children? No, no it doesn't.

Sure, I’m nine-years-old, but I am in love and even though I DO NOT like girls this is 100% an exception to that rule because Miss Honey is SPECIAL.

Like, she definitely looked like she probably smelled LIKE honey. And tasted like honey and powdered sugar …

And her glasses were really sexy.

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Wait … what was I saying?