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Chosen One of the Day: Miss Teschmacher from Superman (1978)

Contributed by
Jul 31, 2018

We like to think it's the obvious ones who hold the power. We pretend that those in the boardrooms or on mastheads, those who live in penthouse apartments or multimillion-dollar homes in the Hollywood Hills, make or break the biggest deals in the world. Get in with them and you've got it made, right?

Sure, they've got power, but you know who really holds the doors open? Their assistants.

Like Miss Teschmacher, for example. Sure, she's best known for her infinitely shoutable name (have you tried it? It's actually super fun), but in addition to being Lex Luthor's Girl Friday, she was also his undoing.

Lex Luthor might have a fancy wig collection and an insane real estate scheme that murders millions, but Miss Teschmacher has balls ... and the ability to swim. When her boss takes out Superman, it is Miss Teschmacher who saves the Man of Steel with her bravery and her opposable thumbs. 

Do assistants have a patron saint? If not, then Miss Teschmacher, Saver of Planets and Lifter of Kryptonite Necklaces, should be it. We shall build a statue of her many stories tall and made of office supplies and discarded lunch orders. Let it be a beacon of hope to every assistant listening to their boss screech their name across the office and let it be a grave warning to any high-powered executive who thinks they can take advantage of the person who holds the keys to their calendar and their secrets.

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