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Credit: Toho.

Chosen One of the Day: Mothra's twin fairies

Contributed by
Mar 29, 2019

There’s so much more to the Godzilla franchise than a giant monster stomping on buildings. There are aliens with questionable fashion sense and women dressed like condoms. There’s a giant sentient robot who raises existential questions about the nature of consciousness. There's Godzilla's son Minilla, whom I would prefer not to think about because I like getting a solid night's sleep unmarred by endless screaming nightmares, thx yes.

My point is: The Godzilla franchise is weird as heckfire, and that's why we love it. 

With Godzilla: King of the Monsters, coming out this May, 'zilla's fellow kaiju Mothra is getting a shiny 21st-century upgrade. Given that, is it too much to hope for that we get a nod to her high priestesses, the Twin Fairies?

They're about a foot tall.

They're twins.

They speak in unison.

Aaaaaand they summon Mothra by musical number, which is really the coolest thing about them, and I'm sorry I took so long to build up to it. I just feel like I had to give it its due. They SUMMON MOTHRA by MUSICAL NUMBER.


Mothra really is That Bitch. She has those wings, so you already know she's dramatic as hell. She's in the bubble bath with her wine and a Danielle Steele novel. She could have her Twin Fairies — the Andy and Emily to her Miranda Priestly — shoot her a text if she's needed to clean up some man's mess. But if some man is out there causing property-destroying monster fights, they're just going to have to wait until the Twin Fairies finish their aria. If they're pitchy on "Mahara Mothra," then Mothra might not show up at all. She has a hot date with Godzilla later that night. She does not have the time.

Godzilla just... shows up. Out of the ocean. You don't even need to blast some Britney Jean era Britney Spears to get his attention? (Godzilla's personal anthem is "Work Bitch.") He's just... there, waiting? Some kind of tomfoolery. Mothra knows how to value her time.

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