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Credit: StudioCanal

Chosen One of the Day: Paddington

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Dec 5, 2019, 10:31 AM EST

Yesterday, the latest Bond trailer dropped and I was reminded about how much I care about Ben Whishaw, who plays Q opposite Daniel Craig’s Bond. (Generally speaking, I do not care too much about James Bond.) 

But Ben Whishaw! And that got me thinking about how much I care about a character voiced by our dear friend Ben: Paddington Bear. 

It’s been almost two years since Paddington 2 hit screens in the United States and changed the national discourse among its more enlightened citizens forever. Paddington, who softly and cuddly (cuddly-ly?) intones such perfect platitudes as “Aunt Lucy said if we are kind and polite the world will be right.” 

(Which, I don’t doubt that Paddington believes, but having seen the films, I know Paddington can also throw down when he needs to. Kindly. But also kick-assedly.) 

Credit: StudioCanal

In the second movie, he goes up against Hugh-Grant-playing-an-actor-who-is-not-Hugh-Grant. And by making friends in unexpected places (Paddington Bear GOES TO PRISON) and the power of love and family, beats the man at a very dastardly game! Also, he tries to be a barber but ends up trying to glue a dude’s hair back onto his head using marmalade. Just look at this little poofy bear with his adorable, soft-spoken English voice wearing a g*dd*mn peacoat. I cannot. 

Anyway, Paddington is a good bear who loves marmalade and gets into a lot of trouble all of the time. I am sometimes worried that I might be Paddington. The only thing that saves me is that I think marmalade is fine

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