Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Miles Morales Peter Parker Gwen Stacy

Chosen One of the Day: Peter Parker’s bathtub tears

Contributed by
Feb 27, 2019

Sony’s Into the Spider-Verse released onto digital platforms yesterday, fresh off its Academy Award win this past weekend. It’s a story about Miles Morales, and it’s a story about Peter Parker (and it’s a story about several more Spider-People), but Parker’s the one we’re interested in today.

Spoilers for Into the Spider-Verse, though if you haven’t seen it yet, what are you even doing?

In a three-minute sequence of the movie, we get Peter’s life story. This isn’t young, wide-eyed and bushy-tailed Pete… this is something new. Not quite Old Man Parker, but on his way. He’s decades into his work as Spider-Man and it’s had an… effect on his life, so to speak. Aunt May is dead and gone, his marriage to MJ has gone kaput. And Pete’s moved into a one bedroom apartment on his own. But, you know, he “handled it like a champ.” (His words.)

Cut to:

Spider-Man crying in the bathtub.

Spidey Crying Gif

Credit: Sony/CBS

Cut to:

Pete lying on his back, shirtless, eating pizza. Hair speckled with gray. A 7 o’clock shadow on his face.

I’m calling him Millennial Peter Parker.

Evidence?

He’s in his late 30s at least.
He eats his feelings.
He cries a lot for no reason.
He definitely has mad anxiety.
He’s not financially “liquid” at the moment.  

The least realistic thing is that he doesn’t have a roommate.

What I’m trying to say is that Into the Spider-Verse Peter Parker is the most relatable Peter Parker. I’m with you, Pete. Let’s find a bathtub to cry in together.

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