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Chosen One of the Day: Red Lantern Dex-Starr, a very good kitty

Contributed by
May 12, 2018

If you’ve ever had the pleasure of owning a cat, you know a few specific things for certain. They are more intelligent than they seem. They like snuggles and pets, but only on their terms. They poop in a box, which is very convenient when you’re the kind of person who just doesn’t do things like “outside” or “exercise.”

Oh, and they’re utterly terrifying.

Cats are tiny, adorable, murderous assholes. They have no time for your shenanigans and they couldn’t care less about your furniture, or your sleep schedule, and seriously, why do you insist on putting all your stuff on flat surfaces when you know the cat is just gonna knock that crap all over tha place because you are a terrible decorator.

But the average house cat has nothing on Dex-Starr.

Dex-Starr started out like any other comic book cat. He was very cute and had an incredibly depressing backstory. Orphaned as a kitten, the cat who used to be known as Dexter was adopted by a lovely woman in Brooklyn who adored him because he kept her company. Then, their apartment was broken into one night, his human was murdered, Dexter was thrown out on the street, and then literally thrown off a bridge in a bag.

It’s hard out there for a cat.

Which is when the Red Lantern Ring swooped in and changed his tiny fluffy life, and turned Dexter into the terrifying creature that is Dex-Starr. Unlike the other Lanterns, who draw their power from the weaker emotions like Will or Hope or Love, Red Lanterns are fueled by unbridled fury.

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That’s right, Dex-Starr is a tiny fluffy cat who was transformed into a literal rage monster.

And what is the first thing he vows to do upon receiving his phenomenal cosmic rage powers? Murder the person who killed his human, of course.

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And how does he kill again? Oh, right. Rage vomit. Because underneath that shiny red uniform, Dex-Starr is still a cat, and random vomit is a cat’s greatest weapon. Bet he always manages to get it on the carpet, too.

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It's effective, it's terrifying, and it's a real mess the average Little Green Machine probably can't handle. Good kitty. Very good kitty. 

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