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Chosen One of the Day: Riverdale's silk pajamas salesperson

Contributed by
Oct 30, 2017

Riverdale is not a town for the faint of heart. Over the course of several months, there's been a murder, several cases of arson, random snakes in boxes, a teacher seducing a student and a death by hanging. And there aren't even that many people who live there, so the crime rate has to be pretty high per capita.

But perhaps the most unbelievable trend in Riverdale is constant matching silk pajamas. I took a non-scientific poll and most humans sleep in a T-shirt or some form of mismatched sweats situation. So the fact that almost every person in the tiny town of Riverdale has been seen wearing silk pajamas is a little hard to swallow.

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Maybe I can get on board with the annoyingly rich adults wearing matching silk pajamas, but what 15-year-old lounges around like this?

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Cheryl is especially extra when she matches her silk pajamas with an ornate silk robe. Remember, she's supposedly a teenager living in Riverdale. This is not Gossip Girl.

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The only real explanation is that the salesperson at the local mall (which, is there even a mall in this town?) must be earning a huge commission on silk pajamas. Maybe she's even gone so far as to invest in a silk pajama company, tying up her financial future in keeping Riverdale stocked in stunning sleepwear.

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But ironically, it looks like the need to wear obscenely beautiful sleepwear just might be the only thing everyone in Riverdale can agree on. So maybe the next time the Coopers and Blossoms get into a fight, they should just compare robes.

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