Rufio, Hook

Chosen One of the Day: Rufio from Hook

Contributed by
Apr 6, 2018

Hook, the live-action retelling of Peter Pan, is meant to be for children, but the kids in the film sure can't catch a break. I recently rewatched the film and started to wonder why it wasn't just titled RUFIO.

RU-FI-O! RU-FI-O!

Upon first glance, Rufio doesn't seem like a role model at all. He's brash and kinda gross. But think about all he's been through. As the leader of the Lost Boys, Rufio has a lot of responsibility. Some of those kids are young, and the rest of them aren't too bright. Enter: Rufio. He's strong and intimidating. He can protect them with that intense sword. He's good at swinging around the treehouse. A- leader, B+ gymnast.

RU-FI-O! RU-FI-O!

THEN this bro Peter shows up, calling Rufio a "skunk head with too much mousse" and talking about insurance. BLAH. BORING. Peter not only tries to parent Rufio, but once they realize who he is, the Lost Boys revere Peter. He's Peter Pan. Rufio put in all the work collecting these boys who are just searching for a father figure, and now Peter just shows up and reaps the benefits.

RU-FI-O! RU-FI-O!

"Give him a chance!" yells Tinker Bell. But does Rufio really need to give Peter a chance? Did Peter give Rufio a chance? Nope. Nope. Nope. Peter insults him and pelts him with imaginary food. How dare he?!

RU-FI-O! RU-FI-O!

But most importantly, during all of this drama, Rufio still manages to f-cking rock a LEWK. That eyeliner! That hair! That perfect use of accent colors! That armor made of tiny chicken bones(?)!

rufio_hook.png

Credit: Sony Home Entertainment

How Peter did not respect him from the beginning on personal aesthetic alone I'll never understand. But ultimately, Rufio is the bigger manchild, helping Peter take on Captain Hook and needlessly putting his child-self in danger.

RU-FI-O! RU-FI-O!

And what does he get in return? A painful death. We all know a sword to the chest has gotta be rough. He probably drowned in his own blood as it filled his lungs. Struggling to use his last breaths to MAKE PETER FEEL BETTER ABOUT HIS SHITTY PARENTING.

rufio, Hook

Credit: Sony Home Entertainment

BUT LET'S NOT FOCUS ON THAT.

So let's recap:

1. Rufio was insulted and underestimated by Peter.

2. Rufio has a well-managed personal #brand.

3. Rufio was more adult than the actual adults.

4. Rufio died for a cause.

Explain to me why this movie isn't called RUFIO.