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Groot in Avengers: Infinity War (Image via Marvel/YouTube)

Chosen One of the Day: Sassy Teen Groot in Avengers: Infinity War

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Apr 26, 2018, 12:09 PM EDT (Updated)

A while back (and this was around the time of the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, so I'm talking two-aught fourteen here), I stumbled upon one among many online quizzes floating around the internet. Little did I know how truly accurate the results of said quiz would turn out to be.

Because yes, according to this important test designed to tell you which Guardian you are: I am Groot (which is the correct answer, as anyone who knows me will concur). A part of me is definitely Baby Groot from GOTG Vol. 2. But it wasn't until Sassy Teen Groot made his official debut in Avengers: Infinity War that I realized I had completely been read for filth by the dang internet.

By Infinity War, Sassy Teen Groot is just so over this whole Guardians gig. He'd rather sit sideways in his chair, all awkward and long-limbed and gangly, and get to the high score on his favorite handheld video game than actually, you know, socialize. And no, he is not going to pick up his room no matter how many times you ask, and if you ask him again: "I am Groot." (That means GFY in sapling.)

Sassy Teen Groot is the symbol for all of us former disillusioned teenagers who couldn't believe we were being expected to do boring adult things, which are lame and stupid and did we mention boring? Okay, we can step up to the plate and save the world if we really have to, but only when the situation absolutely calls for it. Until then, leave us alone.

Essentially, we are Sassy Teen Groot.

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