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Chosen One of the Day: That one princess in the live-action Cinderella who is definitely a lesbian

Contributed by
Nov 30, 2017

Have you seen Kenneth Branagh's live-action Cinderella remake? Did you know that it's an excellent film, replete with an Ella with actual agency, a Prince with a got-dang personality, and--most, most, most importantly--Cate Blanchett swanning around in a series of divine dresses?

Now, Cate Blanchett working the hell out of some clothes is normally all you need to place a movie in the top 1% of movies ever made. But Cinderella goes above and beyond. Because guess what? There's a lesbian princess there, too.

There is. I will die on this hill.

People who have seen Cinderella: Do you remember Princess Chelina of Zaragosa? She's the woman who Kit (Richard Madden), the Prince, was supposed to marry, because she has the proper bloodline and Cinderella (Lily James) is just some chick. Chelina, played by Spanish actress Jana Perez, isn't presented in a negative light or anything like that. We don't see her all that much, but when she does put in an appearence at the Prince's Big Deal Ball, she seems kind of chill.

She also wants to bone down with Cinderella. Hardcore. I present to you Exhibit A, AKA Princess Chelina Reacts to Cinderella Dancing with the Prince, AKA The Only Exhibit You Need.

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Look at that face. That is not an "who's this asshole moving in on my man?" face. That's not even an "I came all the way to this middle-of-nowhere kindgom for nothing, and I'm mildly peeved about it, but I guess I can hit up the duty-free shop on on the way back home" face. That's definitely not an "oh thank God, I didn't really want this arranged marriage either, and now it looks like there's a way out of it" face. It is an "I want to slip into that woman's glass slipper" face, ifyouknowwhatImean.

To borrow a meme from another Cate Blanchett movie: SHE'S A LESBIAN, HAROLD.

Earlier we saw Chelina interact with Kit, and though she was perfectly civil, she was by no means throwing down the take me now vibes you see her directing ol' Cindy's way. Check out Kit's BFF, played by Nonso Anozie. He only sees the back of her head, and he gets it. That is the look of a well-tuned gaydar going ping!.

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Now, Chelina wanting to do the fairy tale nasty with Cinderella and not the Prince doesn't necessarily mean she's a lesbian. She could be poly, bi, or pan--we don't know, and I don't want ignore all my special fellows in the middle of the Kinsey scale. I'm just saying that in my own personal headcanon Princess Chelina is a big ol' lesbian who goes back to Zaragosa and maybe has an ill-advised hook-up with an exiled Lady Tremaine. 

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