Chosen One of the Day: That Santa Tim Allen killed in The Santa Clause

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Dec 21, 2018, 4:45 PM EST (Updated)

In the pantheon of holiday horror, everyone talks about Black Christmas, Gremlins, Krampus, movies like that. *extreme Burl Ives voice* But do you recall the most horrifying Christmas tale of all? Because it's definitely the one where Tim Allen murders Santa and then takes over his life.

The Santa Clause, a purported family film, is actually a cacophony of nightmares, from body horror to the sheer terror of contractual obligations and not reading the Terms and Conditions. But nothing is more horrific than the moment Santa Claus, our beloved icon of the holiday season and the purest, most sacred being to any innocent child, falls off a roof, his corpse disintegrating into the snow below, his entire existence wiped out only to be replaced by Tim the Tool Man Taylor. 

They made three of these, people. Each more unspeakable than the last, but it all kicked off with a man's icy demise.

May this tiny wave haunt all our dreams this season.

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