When I say the Abzorbaloff is the worst thing Doctor Who has done, I mean it. It's worse than how dirty the show did Donna Noble. It's worse than the dumb farting Slitheens. It's even worse than Rose being handed a clone Doctor. I might not really mean that. To me, that's the Doctor Who version of the How I Met Your Mother finale. But that I'm even considering that the Abzorbaloff might be worse tells you just how terrible the Abzorbaloff truly is.
So, right off the bat, let me just tell you, I know. I know this fetid creature was based on the drawing of a young child who entered a Blue Peter contest. I know. I do not blame this precious child drawing the hideous visions in their imagination. You do you, drawing child. I blame the adult monsters who fabricated this Jabba booger made of nipples, scales, and faces. I blame whoever decided Peter Kay should use his tongue quite that much. I blame whoever let Kay do a less Scottish Fat Bastard, and I really blame whoever decided the final joke of the episode should be that a woman trapped in a tile becomes a repository for her boyfriend's nether sitch for the rest of her days. Gross. Love and Monsters is a very bad episode. And the Abzorbaloff is the worst part. (Seriously, though, that bee-jay joke is a close second.)