The-Witcher-Netflix
More info i
Credit: Netflix

Chosen One of the Day: The apple juice meet-cute in The Witcher

Contributed by
Feb 20, 2020, 10:32 AM EST (Updated)

Have you ever seen two characters whose narratives largely exist apart from one another and you just know, deep down, in your heart of hearts, that the first time they cross paths is going to be TOTALLY EPIC?

It's even better when it's in a romantic sense, and those of us well-versed in rom-com jargon know that this moment is often referred to as a "meet-cute." Someone gets tripped up in a dog's leash a la 101 Dalmatians or gets tackled out of the way of a runaway Dumpster like in The Wedding Planner.

Or, if you're Geralt of Rivia, you're standing in the middle of a magically-directed orgy holding a jug of apple juice.

Those of us who have seen Season 1 of The Witcher know that human interaction is not Geralt's strong suit. He doesn't even really seem like he enjoys talking to people all that much. The only person who earns his undying devotion isn't even a person at all; it's a horse named Roach. (Well, horses plural. Geralt names every single one of his horses, boy or girl, Roach. It's a whole thing.)

But when his good buddy Jaskier winds up pissing off a djinn with his antics and gets supernaturally strangled, Geralt turns to the only person who might have the power to cure him: a mysterious mage who seems to have the entire town under their sway. Turns out the mage is a lady, and her name is Yennefer, and she's very pretty, and oh, she just happens to be a big fan of apple juice.

Credit: Netflix

Credit: Netflix

(Images censored because the man is literally standing in the middle of an orgy. THIS SHOW.)

Anyway, in case we forgot that Geralt doesn't have any game whatsoever, least of all romantically, the fact that he chooses THIS of all things as his opening line should make it beyond obvious.

The good news (maybe?) is that Yennefer seems to be totally into it regardless (probably, in part, because she wants to climb him like a sexy tree) and as we the audience soon discover, they spend the next few years in an on-again, off-again cycle of bliss and angst and more bliss and more angst — and it can all be traced back to the defining moment of a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her if she wants some apple juice.

fangrrls_rightrail_burst
Top stories
fangrrls_rightrail_burst
Top stories

Make Your Inbox Important

Like Comic-Con. Except every week in your inbox.

Sign-up breaker