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Chosen One of the Day: The bonkers sausage factory scene from Secret Life of Pets

Contributed by
Jul 12, 2018

So, I have two young children. As such, I am frequently subject to some buckwild kid cinema. If you were wondering whether or not films have gotten less terrifying since we were children, I can tell you they most certainly have not.

Case in point: the sausage factory scene from The Secret Life of Pets, one of my daughter's favorites and my most recent existential crisis. 

OK. In this scene, Max and Duke, our dog heroes, enter a sausage factory (the film seems to believe hot dogs and sausages are interchangable and I don't know that they aren't at this point, that's not the focus right now, there's so much more to be concerned about) and meet a bunch of singing sentient sausages/hot dogs. They invite the dogs into their land, have a luau, and then... line up to be eaten. With glee. 

I... have so many questions. And fears. And sadness. My child always seems unmoved by what's going on, but I am MOVED TO TERROR. This dark nightmare has filled my every thought, particularly at this time of year when hot dogs are plentiful. This is some Big Hot Dog propaganda and I'm a vegetarian now. Wait, are tofu dogs sentient too? Is it all actually OK if they want to be eaten? HOW FAR DOES THIS GO?