godzilla vs megalon

Chosen One of the Day: The condom ladies from Godzilla vs. Megalon

Contributed by
Dec 14, 2018

The costumes of the Godzilla franchise have always been underrated. Not the monster outfits — those are pretty well acknowledged as the groundbreaking bits of design that they are. When you’re not talking about men in monster suits is where the appreciation tends to fall off. Which is a shame, because sometimes the Godzilla franchise gives you women dressed like giant condoms.

godzilla vs megalon condom women

We don’t know much about these women, save that they A) belong to an ancient underwater society called Seatopia and B) their ceremonial outfits look like unfurled condoms, pointed tops wagging in the wind as they twirl about to summon their giant monster protector. Maybe this scene, their sole bit of screentime, is followed by a giant orgy and the condom-smocks are there to provide a sort of full-body, Gallagher-style projection from various… fluids. Those aren't your normal, '60s-style platform boots. They're rain galoshes.

Maybe Condom Caftans are the hot new trend in Seatopia. Aquaman 2 costume designer: Call me. I already have the tagline ready to go: Scaled for her pleasure.

Of extra special importance is that these mysterious underwater condom nymphs are not the only condom-garbed villainesses to appear in the Godzilla franchise’s decades-long history. (Was Ishirô Honda more a rhythm method guy?) Behold these aliens from Destroy All Monsters, who are dressed kind of like sparkly (!) condoms with capes (!!) if you have a dirty mind.

destroy all monsters capes

Alas, actual condoms don't usually come equipped with quite such an impressive cateye.

kilaak cateye

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