Chosen One of the Day: The Dog from Duck Hunt

Contributed by
Oct 17, 2017, 4:37 PM EDT (Updated)

Growing up on video games, we all have recollections of our first "Big Bad." King Koopa, Doctor Eggman, Shao Kahn -- hell, even Oregon Trail had dysentery. And while we all learned to fear these evildoers, these lethal barriers who stood between us and what we'd worked for round after round, one video game character was our first experience being actively mocked by the game we were playing. And that character was that f*cking dog from Duck Hunt.

This started out as an attempt at a humorous post but honestly, I'm feeling so attacked right now. Have studies been performed yet linking this dog to anxiety in adulthood? They should be. Yes, I believe that every fear of failure, every pained need for validation we experience today can be traced back to this game and specifically this dog. Also, why is he on two legs? Why does he have fingers? What's wrong with his left ear? Is this a Jacob's Ladder situation? I smell toast.

Also, can we talk about the fact that many of us as young children played a game wherein the only way to ensure the dog didn't mock you to your face was to kill a duck and watch him gleefully grip it by its neck, showing you the corpse you created where life once existed, only obtaining approval by this creature's unquenchable thirst for blood?

See you all in therapy. And see you in hell, dog.

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