Chosen One of the Day: The dog god from Pirates of the Caribbean

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Aug 28, 2018, 11:31 AM EDT (Updated)

We all have our ups and downs, good days and bad days. One moment you’re riding high, running in the open air, chasing your tail, a cushy job holding keys and setting criminals free. The next you’re stuck with a group of pirates and locked up in a cage, prisoner of a native tribe on a strange island.

Then maybe you’re freed. You’re back running with the sand between your toes (or paw pads, I guess), and while you’re not a fan of boats, you figure at least it’s bigger than that cage. But before you can get there, those damn pirates take off in their boat, leaving you on the beach faced with dozens of angry natives who have just been denied their pirate meal and once again your luck has turned sour.

What do you do? Do you resign yourself to a short life over a hot fire? Do you make a break for the ocean and swim for it?

NO! You are better than that. You turn around and run for it. But you’re not going to run forever. You’re just waiting for the right moment, the right time to make your move, to appeal to their higher beliefs. You are not a dog. YOU ARE A GOD. A god dog. A good dog god dog.

You are their god.

You are not dinner.

You will never be dinner again.

This throne is kind of bumpy though. Time to find some sea turtles.

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