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Chosen One of the Day: The Garfield phone from Ninja Terminator

Contributed by
Jun 12, 2018, 4:40 PM EDT (Updated)

I’m going to lay out a few sentences for you. You’re probably going to think I’ve had a stroke and am just slurring random words together, but hang with me, because I swear that what I’m about to say is real.

There is a movie called Ninja Terminator. One of the main characters in Ninja Terminator is a man who looks like a buffer version of Rowsdower from the classic Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode Final Sacrifice, without the mullet but with inexpertly applied guyliner. This man wears a camouflage ninja outfit, like a Duck Dynasty character going through a late-in-life weeb phase. He is a very serious man, as his mustache will inevitably tell you. He also uses a Garfield phone.

You know.

A Garfield phone.

That phone's expression of sexual bliss? It's because this phone knows it's in Ninja Terminator, a movie just wacky enough to give it an inordinate amount of screentime. 

Why does this ostensibly serious man use a phone in the shape of a cartoon cat? Well... why anything in Ninja Terminator, really? Why the phone with a doily on it? 

Screen Shot 2018-06-11 at 3.08.31 PM

Why the irrational hatred of watermelons?

Why this particular sex scene, the anatomy of which only works if the receiving party is capable of being snapped in half like a LEGO minifig?


No, really... why? These aren't rhetorical questions. I'm genuinely asking. Drugs? A dare? Pod people? Pod people who love Garfield? What's going on?
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