Chosen One of the Day: The “I need six eggs” lady from Beauty and the Beast

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Apr 16, 2018

A lot of times, your take on a particular piece of media changes based on how old you are. Things that you saw for the first time when you were young no longer hold up so well when you have a little life experience behind you. Boondock Saints: from edgy to ugh. Rent: from a rousing rousing cri de coeur about the dangers of conformity to “Wait... I don't get why they think they don't have to pay rent?”

Add to this list “Belle,” the first song from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. It sets the stage for us, introducing us to our heroine, an intellectual outcast who is more interested in reading than sharing gossip with her small-minded fellow townspeople. Looked at from the perspective of those townspeople, though, the song begins to take on a different cast. “There goes the baker, with his tray like always. The same old bread and rolls to sell.” I’m sorry, but some people have to work so they can provide for their families, Belle. Not for nothing, but maybe if you didn’t walk around calling everyone “little people,” you might have a friend or two! 

That said, the townspeople are, on balance, narrow-minded assholes who are convinced by the local meathead to go all mob rule on a poor, innocent furry who wasn’t harming anybody. So maybe Belle’s teenage pretentiousness has a point. I can see both sides. However. No matter how you read “Belle,” one thing does not change, and that’s would somebody please get that lady her six eggs?

She doesn’t care about some snooty high school sophomore who thinks she’s better than everyone because she spends her time reading instead of working a part-time job at Ye Olde Quik-E-Mart! She doesn't have the time! She needs the eggs! Do you see how many kids she has? She’s going to drop one, and then she’ll only need five eggs, and wow, this COOTD just got a little dark, huh? That lady is on the verge of a full-on mental breakdown. Belle, instead of smiling indulgently at one of the "little people," should maybe work to achieve progress in a society that does not allow women the autonomy to make their own reproductive choices. Just saying, Belle. You're in pre-revolutionary France. The class war's coming, whether you like it or not. Maybe get on the right side early.

Or at least front my gal an egg!