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Chosen One of the Day: The online close-up magic university from Ant-Man and the Wasp

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Jul 9, 2018, 10:48 AM EDT (Updated)

Marvel's latest film Ant-Man and the Wasp picks up a couple years post-Captain America: Civil War with Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) on house arrest following his alliance with #TeamCap. We totally understand choosing to hang out with Chris Evans, but that decision put Scott at odds with those Sokovia Accords that we forgot about thanks to Avengers: Infinity War.

Warning: Mild spoilers for Ant-Man and The Wasp.

ANYWAY during his time on house arrest (for two whole years), it makes sense that Scott would need to find some new hobbies. So naturally, after getting in shape (hello, Mr. Six Pack), learning to play drums, and building the most amazing box fort/maze/slide in history, he probably took to Google for some extra ideas on how to pass the time.


During this search, he probably stumbled on a common hobby for men with spare time on their hands: magic! But not just any magic, the greatest online close-up magic university of all time: Online Close-Up Magic University. Not only is the title just oh-so transparent, the website looks like it's straight out of 1997. Because when you're that good at teaching close-up magic, why waste money on a web designer?

With the help of some snazzy tutorials, Online Close-Up Magic University gave Scott all the skills he needed to successfully impress the officer keeping watch over his house arrest in addition to pulling a deck of cards out of his mouth. WHAT A USEFUL SKILL.

Now, you're probably wondering why someone with the abilities of Ant-Man would need to also take classes from Online Close-Up Magic University. Sure, he can shrink and squeeze between atoms. He can also grow huge and help the Avengers. But can Ant-Man awkwardly pull a quarter from behind your ear without you even knowing? The answer is no. But Scott Lang can and will at parties.

The point is, it's never too late to learn something new — even if you're a superhero. And if you want to bring some joy and wonder into the world, magic is the way to go.

Why are you still reading this? Just go hurry up and enroll in Online Close-Up Magic University for the Fall 2018 term.

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