racing snail

Chosen One of the Day: The racing snail from The Neverending Story

Contributed by
May 25, 2018

Yeah, yeah, I know. When you think of animals from The Neverending Story, you probably think of Artax, the horse who singlehandedly (singlehoofedly?) scarred an entire generation. Or you might think of Morla the Aged One, a giant turtle who *checks notes* ah, yes, is stoned absolutely all the time. Literally always. Stoned as hell. Tell me I’m wrong.

If you were an immortal turtle who lived in a swamp, you might want to get baked, too.

However, the presence of a suicidal horse, a stoned turtle, a narcoleptic bat, a flying dog dragon, and a wolf on steroids — The Neverending Story was weird, y'all — may have blinded you to the best animal character in this '80s fantasy classic: the snail who is on speed. Wait. I mean the snail who is really, really speedy. And also on speed.

racing snail

The Neverending Story/Warner Brothers

Vroom vroom, jagoffs.

Welcome, racing snail, to the Society of Fantasy Movie Animals Who Look Weird And Are Also Way Faster Than They Should Be. Woola welcomes you. So does... well, look, it's a very small society.

The racing snail industry must be pretty brutal, right? And the shining star of its august ranks has clearly come out of it pretty well, if beset by the occasional tendency to indulge in the odd substance. The racing snail is the most hardcore character in this entire movie. Gmork? Pish. Whatever. Look at this face. Do you want to mess with this face?  No.

Screen Shot 2018-05-24 at 10.29.18 AM

Every fan of The Neverending Story should consider themselves damn lucky that the racing snail was fast enough to outrun the Nothing en route to the Ivory Tower. Because if he hadn't been, he'd have just hauled off and punched the Nothing in the face — without arms! — and it would have been a real short movie.

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