The Marvel Cinematic Universe tends not to be all that hot when it comes to their villains. Loki, Killmonger, and Kingpin all exhibit some top-shelf BAMFery. There’s not much to Hela, but she’s played by a scenery-gnawing Cate Blanchett, so who even gives a flip? Ego is Kurt Russell, so ditto. Other than that, you have: Nazis. Other Nazis. Secret Nazis. A computer Nazi, sometimes maybe? And dancing Sam Rockwell.
All that is to say that Captain America: Winter Soldier’s Alexander Pierce is entirely unmemorable aside from that time he poured himself an inch and a half of milk.
Who does that?
You remember. (Because you think about Winter Soldier’s third-of-a-glass-of-milk at least once a week, because honestly, who doesn’t?) The Winter Soldier is hanging in Secret Nazi Pierce’s apartment, being a violent emo like he does. Pierce offers Bucky Ballz some milk. Bucky refuses, so Pierce pours himself some milk … and honestly, what is this?
It’s a shot glass’ worth of milk in a full-on juice glass? Does he do it to get Bucky on his back foot? Because that’s what it’s doing to me. Is the famed merchant of death the Winter Soldier sitting there thinking, Why’d he pour that little milk in the cup? Is he gonna wash that whole cup just because he wanted one swig? He just killed the housekeeper. Who drinks that little milk? Who drinks milk in the first place? I’m so confused.
Is this Alexander Pierce’s signature power move? Psychological warfare through dairy? Is it a Hydra thing? Is Pierce just on a more evolved level than the rest of us? Hey, Robert Redford: Are you frakking with me? Why did Pierce pour an inch and a half of milk? Were Paul Newman’s eyes really that blue in person?
These are all questions that I have.