Christmas is almost here! [DISCLOSURE: FANGRRLS, like many sites, often commissions posts from writers and then spaces them out according to the needs of the editorial schedule. Did I write this in October? November? July? It does not matter. CHRISTMAS IS ALWAYS ALMOST HERE.] The Christmas season, for many, calls to mind TV specials of old; it wasn’t really the holiday season unless you’d spent at least a few minutes on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, A Garfield Christmas, or How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Or, if you grew up in the ‘90s, Will Vinton’s Claymation Christmas Special, featuring Christmas-loving dinosaurs and the then-popular California Raisins. (RIP Vinton, who died earlier this year.)
It also features a sketch with my personal hero: Margo Pontoon, aka The Ice-Skating Walrus With Her Tits Out.
Margot Pontoon is the Queen of... well, everything, tbh. Body positivity. Sex positivity. Gender equality. The #FreetheNipple movement, even though she doesn't have nipples. (How many nipples do walruses have? Noting that one for a Google Image Search at some later date, safety search off because Margo would not want me to be afraid of life.) Utterly refusing to be daunted by the prospect of boob sweat. What even happens when you're in sub-zero temperatures, letting the ladies catch the brisk winter breeze, and you get boob sweat from swinging your man around like a top? Does the boob sweat freeze, causing your underboob to stick to your torso? Not if you're Margo! She's swingin' and flingin' and refusing to let her thunder be muzzled.
We should all be so confident and graceful and unapologetically horny.