In 2010, Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim released a game that would change lives for Always I wanna be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony-harmony-always. Robot Unicorn Attack featured, well, a Robot Unicorn running through a Sisyphean task of jumping over bombs and through stars and trying not to explode.
Set against a pink and purple-hued otherworldly backdrop, with sparkling pixies and rainbow dashes, to the try-and-not-get-hyped-I-dare-you music of 80’s synthpop band Erasure, the game draws you in with simplicity and promises of lots and lots of points. Robot Unicorn Attack is like if Lisa Frank and Doom had a baby.
And then there’s the unicorn.
Look at that beautiful beast in the video. Its shiny metal skin, the rainbow light mane and tail. The glean of its metallic haunches. The unsettling, but somehow perfect, combination of myth and science fiction into one terrifying beauty. (Honestly, if Black Beauty had been Robot Unicorn Beauty I might have become a horse girl.) Robot Unicorn’s rainbow dash is the only Rainbow Dash I’m interested in.
With one million plays the first week of its release back in 2010, this magnificent metal monster cannot be stopped (as proved by the five different editions that have been put out in the last nine years). So, here’s to you, Robot Unicorn. May you be always dashing and jumping and lighting up our lives with your absurd beauty.