Chosen One of the Day: The vampire groupie from Interview with the Vampire

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Nov 23, 2018, 10:30 AM EST

In the book Interview With the Vampire, the vampire coven behind Théâtre des Vampires spend their evenings onstage killing and eating mortals in plain sight, disguising it as “theater.”

But it’s only in Neil Jordan’s sublimely sensuous and camp film adaptation Interview With the Vampire that we meet… the Vampire Groupie.

The Théâtre des Vampires’ show ends with Santiago, the Ryan to coven leader Armand’s Sharpay, dressed as the Grim Reaper, advancing on a poor mortal woman the vampires have captured and forced onstage. The vampires rudely play with their food—Louis is aghast, Claudia’s like “ugh, how avant garde” in one of the best line readings in the movie—until Santiago asks his victim who she’d pick to take her place.

One audience member answers the call, springing to her feet and crying out, “Oh, yes, take me, Monsieur Vampire! I adore you!”

The vampires may be thirsty, but she’s thirstier. Even though she’s sitting in the third row in this shoebox of a Parisian theater, she’s still got opera binoculars glued to her face. She just can’t bear to miss a second in the highest definition the 1790s have to offer of the subject of her desire: a vampire pretending to be a human pretending to be Death pretending to kill a woman he is actually 100% killing to eat. (Santiago dismisses her, which is, like, what?) You don’t get more goth than that, and she’s not even doing it on purpose!

Add to that actress Katia Caballero’s beautiful natural French accent in a sea of over-the-top or nonexistent French accents and the red velvet/black lace number she’s wearing, and the Vampire Groupie becomes an absolute icon. A votre santé, Vampire Groupie; may all your bloody, lusty dreams come true.

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