demons tony

Chosen One of the Day: Tony the Pimp from Demons

Contributed by
Jun 28, 2018, 10:30 AM EDT

For as long as there have been horror movies, there have been horror movie characters getting themselves killed by behaving like utter dipshits. It’s standard for the genre to the point where you have to roll your eyes and let it go. People do make stupid decisions in high-pressure situations, after all. And if the horror genre were populated entirely by characters possessed of a baseline level of competence, a lot of horror movies would be a lot shorter. 

All the same, it’s refreshing when a character comes along who actually has his sh*t together. A character like Tony the Pimp in Lamberto Bava’s Demons.

In Demons, a motley mix of soon-to-be murder victims find themselves trapped in a movie theater, where they're soon under attack by… wait for it… demons. There’s the blind guy, the horny teens on a date, and the quartet of punks who snort coke from an actual Coke can (it's the '80s). There’s also the boring white guy who—of course—ends up being the one to make it to the end of the movie.

If there were any justice in the world, it would be Tony the Pimp (Bobby Rhodes), not Blando McJock, riding off into the sunset.

Tony the Pimp is a natural leader. Upon realizing the there’s a killer demon loose in the theater, he’s the one to lead his terrified fellow moviegoers in search of a (nonexistent) exit.

He’s smart. After realizing they’re all trapped, he instructs his squawking, baby-duckling charges to pull up the seats and use them to barricade the entrance to the balcony.

He's a snappy dresser. Not everyone can pull off a polka-dotted pocket square. 

He's charismatic, yet still relatable. In the year 2018, we can all see a little of ourselves in Tony the Pimp screaming "SMASH EVERYTHING! SMASH EVERYTHING! SMASH EVERYTHING!"

tony demons smash everything

And, finally, he’s fiscally responsible, opting to take his two dates/freelance employees to a free movie premiere in lieu of a more expensive entertainment option. Sure, they wouldn’t all be dead if he’d shelled out a few bucks at a different theater, but aren't movie ticket prices the real killer?

Top stories
Top stories