Chosen One of the Day: Zap Rowsdower

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Jun 27, 2018, 10:33 AM EDT (Updated)

The kids today are all talking about that BDE. While I did think it was perhaps a drug or some manner of Fifty Shades situation, it turns out BDE stands for "Big D*ck Energy," a kind of confidence and swagger that comes from knowing—be it literally or figuratively or whynotboth.gif—that you're packin' real heat. 

So I began thinking: who has the most BDE in all of genre? Han Solo? PLEASE. Mal Reynolds? Minor D*ck Energy at best. Princess Leia? Oh definitely and obviously but then I thought of a character whose effortlessness, commitment to fashion and general Canuckery rendered him most emblematic of BDE culture.

Zap Rowsdower.

The double-denimed, bemulleted hero(?) of The Final Sacrifice, became iconic thanks to the film's appearance in Season 9 of Mystery Science Theater 3000. He drinks a lot of beer, smokes cigarettes, drives a spotty at best truck and packs all the emotion of a room-temp can of Labatt. With his heroic(?) sidekick, the elven Troy, the The movie is quite unclear about pretty much all of it. But not about Rowsdower. Never about Rowsdower. And for that, we are thankful.

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