Considering the success of Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and Game of Thrones, isn't it time Dungeons & Dragons got a satisfying adaptation?
On the 8th of December, in the year of our Lord 2000, a Dungeons & Dragons movie came out. I was there that opening night, and as I watched a group of nerds try to sort out the order in which they would sit, I yelled, "Roll initiative!"
And then the experience was all downhill from there.
Somewhere between Bruce Payne's blue lipstick, Jeremy Irons' overacting and Thora Birch's underacting, I realized that, if there is a god, he is an '80s movie jock stereotype, because that movie felt like it had wedgied my very soul. It starred the worst Wayans, people.
It's been over 13 years and I still haven't scrubbed that stain from my mind. So you can imagine that it's hard for me to trust again. I have cried too many bitter nerd tears. But Dan Harmon was at SXSW over the weekend, and he said something that gave me hope. Harmon was asked how he would make a D&D movie, and here was his answer:
The notion of letting there be a core of humor is totally acceptable to me. Because, even at the most serious of gaming sessions, everyone is tempted to attack the darkness with magic missile a little bit. Be honest -- you know it's true.
Also, sign me up for any D&D movie that stars Patton Oswalt. Just think of all the thac0 jokes he could make!
Okay, he should probably only make one joke about thac0. But still! Shield modifier humor.
Somebody throw all the gold pieces at Dan Harmon and let's make this thing happen.