Here at FANGRRLS, we’re all about celebrating our thirst. Whether we thirst due to fashion, werewolves, or TV shows like Shadowhunters, we do so with a certain je ne sais quoi that’s about loving, understanding, and deeply, deeply desiring the objects of our thirst. What we’re saying is that we’re thirst-inclusive.
What makes a character attractive isn’t just their appearance or their body. We’re attracted to their minds, their swagger, and their joie de vivre. (Haven’t you ever wanted to get busy with someone just because of their beautiful, bold brain?)
And, when we turn that thirst toward beloved franchises such as Star Trek, we find ourselves with an embarrassment of hotties. So, why not rank them?
A very rigorous algorithm was used to generate this thirsty AF post and back talk in the comments won’t be tolerated. (It will.)
Jadzia Dax, Deep Space Nine
As a joined Trill, Jadzia and Dax bring their collective romantic and sexual experiences to the table. Both remember their former lovers and both find ways to reconnect with their former paramours while sharing the same body. As a character, Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell) is a very fun, albeit clunky meditation on sexuality and gender, and their queer-ness just makes them an even more delightful being to thirst for.
B’Elanna Torres, Voyager
B’Elanna Torres (Roxann Dawson) is the strong-willed, powerful chief engineer on Voyager. Having come from the Maquis, she’s slow to warm up to the crew, but eventually partners up with ole Tom Paris. She’s a half-Klingon, half-human sexpot who knows her way around a bat’leth. What we’re saying is she seems like she’d be bossy in bed in a very good way.
Hugh Culber, Discovery
When Hugh Culber’s glorious self was murdered during Season 1 of Discovery, it was a goddamn tragedy. This passionate, caring doctor and his partner Paul Stamets make up the cutest (and only openly) queer couple on Star Trek. Culber (Wilson Cruz) is coming back, so that’s why we feel comfortable talking about him like the snack he is. He’s gorgeous, he’s caring, and he’d show you a good time and then tuck you into bed like a little baby angel.
Hikaru Sulu, The Original Series
Who isn’t attracted to a person who can wield a sword as well as he can take the helm of a spaceship? Hikaru Sulu manages to be playful and yet commanding, meaning he would be quite a fun romantic partner, but would still take charge when appropriate. Played by the smoldering George Takei, Sulu is one sexy, complex hottie that we’d be happy to get freaky with.
If one Sulu wasn’t enough (you know it wasn’t), we have also been blessed with none other than John Cho playing Sulu in the Kelvin timeline films. We love Cho in anything because he’s such a babe, but we’re particularly happy to see him playing Sulu, especially a queer Sulu with a baby. D’aww!
Jean-Luc Picard, The Next Generation
Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) knows how to get his flirt on. Whether he’s talking fantasies with Dr. Beverly Crusher or saving the universe with the unsavory (or quite savory, perhaps?) Vash, he really knows how to catch your eye. He’s commanding on the bridge and seems like he’d bring that same love of structure, and the archeologist’s sense of wonder, to his romantic endeavors. Our guess is that when Picard returns he's gonna be better than ever. Make it so, Daddy, make it so.
Benjamin Sisko, Deep Space Nine
Not only is Benjamin Sisko (Avery Brooks) a devoted father and an incredible leader, he’s also one attractive human being. That goatee is beyond sexy and his confidence and sense of purpose are knee-bucklingly attractive. Sisko seems like he’d be a passionate and patient lover, but he’d also know how to get the job done.
Deanna Troi, The Next Generation
As the counselor of the Enterprise, Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis) is responsible for gauging morale, engaging in diplomatic efforts, and getting a general sense of everyone’s feelings, apparently. Since she’s a half-Betazoid empath, we’re guessing Deanna would be the most present and attentive lover, able to tickle your every fancy just as you conceive of it. Wowza, Riker. You lucked out.
Nyota Uhura, The Original Series
Yeah, Uhura’s skirt was designed to be salacious and sexy and put a leggy babe on display. And, yeah, the creators took every excuse they could to show off her hot bod. And, yeah, Uhura’s intelligence and her sexy linguistic brain are outrageously attractive. Yeah, that’s it. What? Did you expect us to say something negative about Nichelle Nichols? Oh no, no, no, no, no. Not in this house. In this house, we honor and worship the absolute Betty that is Nyota Uhura. (Zoe Saldana’s Uhura is also super sexy.)
Seven of Nine, Voyager
Here’s the thing about Seven of Nine (Jeri Ryan): She is so obviously a total babe. She was cast to be sexy, her uniform is made of some sort of liquid polyester that clings to her at a molecular level, and her boobs are just front and center. You know you’re supposed to want her just by the way she’s presented. And, yeah, she’s hot AF. Throughout Voyager Seven is shown to adapt and grow back into her humanity—not primarily through her sexuality, but mostly through her interactions with the crew on a more friendly level. However, a certain Captain Janeway does seem to take up a lot of her time. Makes you wonder how much mentorship actually took place, doesn’t it?
James T. Kirk, The Original Series
William Shatner was quite the tasty tidbit back in the day, wasn’t he? Mix in the general swagger and sincere warmth of James Tiberius Kirk and you’ve got one irresistible ship captain. Again, the creators of TOS really understood the collective thirst of their fans and set a shirtless Kirk loose on the world. For this, we are grateful, oh creators.
And, hey, Chris Pine ain’t too shabby either.
He’s a leader. He’s thoughtful. He’s seductive. And, he’s hooked up with both halves of the glory that is J7, the ship name for Janeway and Seven of Nine. As a rebel turned Federation officer, we’d bet Chakotay (Robert Beltran) still knows how to let loose. Plus that one time he and Janeway got stranded on a planet, it looked like they built a happy little life. He seems like the kind of person you could get freaky with, but like, if friends with benefits turned into soulmates too, that might not be so bad.
Michael Burnham, Discovery
Whether she’s staging a mutiny or kicking mirror universe ass, Michael Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green) knows how to strut her stuff. She looks good in a Federation issued uniform and rocks her Terran Empire armor—gold is most certainly her color. She’s a stone cold fox and you know it. Add to that the fact that she is the definition of the word survivor, one talented scientist, and strong-willed and you’ve got the sexiest character in all of Star Trek.
There. We said it.