Wanna smell like a hero? Smell like an AVENGER!

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Marc Bernardin
Dec 16, 2012

Since one of the hallmarks of a massive movie franchise is merchandising, it's not surprising that there are a host of products planned to tie in to Marvel's The Avengers. But we wouldn't have taken odds that cologne would be one of them.

Personally, I'd think that a hero would smell like sweat, given the all the physical derring-do that goes into saving the world—and it'd be a battle to see who'd smell worse, stuck-in-a-tin-can Iron Man or the Hulk, who mates musclebound rage with a fugitive's lack of steady shower facilities—but a company named JADS International seems to feel there's gold in these here scents.

See if any of these cologne descriptions pop your cork:

Infinity Formula

Face danger with something dangerous. Activate the Initiative.
Colonel Nicholas "Nick" Fury. Paratrooper, Ranger, weapons and demolitions expert, aircraft specialist and pilot, Green Beret. Veteran of every U.S. war and military conflict since World War II. Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., "the single most powerful, most important organization on the planet Earth." And the only human strong enough to bring together a group of remarkable people who would fight the battles no one else could.


Your Attack Plan
A cologne that pays homage to the confident, stand-up-to-bullies, hard-working average Joe in every man. PATRIOT Cologne is both reserved and sexy, like a symbol on a shield or a moniker on a motorcycle helmet. Fresh notes of green lime and white pepper are the first to hit, with dry oak wood, sandalwood and tequila accords finishing the adventure. Perfect for any time or place, PATRIOT Cologne puts the Novus Mundus in your strong, sensuous hands for you to embrace and discover.

Mark VII

Armor Up
A resolutely sophisticated cologne forged from the sea, the sun, the earth, and a touch of devil-may-care whimsy. Transparent, aromatic and modern in nature, Mark VII combines mandarin, neroli, nasturtium and jasmine layered with light patchouli to create a contemporary expression of "I don't play well with others" confidence, leaving you always ready for whatever a genius, billionaire playboy-philanthropist might encounter along the way.


Be Angry
Very unusual and rare materials have been brought together to create a woody aquatic cologne evoking both a serene sense of timeless freedom and a single-minded, unbridled passion for life. Yuzu, bergamot and tarragon create clean, clear top notes along with unexpected accords of water lily and nutmeg. SMASH! then carries an intense woody drydown enriched with Indian sandalwood, vetiver, musk and sharp cedar. Complimentary to a full range of emotions, it wears well no matter where—at work, the lab or an evening out on the town.


Possess the Power
This woody citrus cologne is a unique, meaningful combination of bergamot, frozen ginger and wheatgrass blended with a hint of fresh natural grapefruit and layered deeply with aromatic cypress. Basenotes are possessed with sensual, seductive tones of dark amber and cedarwood, protecting and enhancing a deep, dry masculine (dare we say almost God-like?) musk.


Made to Rule
Possessed of superhuman strength, genius-level intelligence, mystical powers, telepathy, flight, clairvoyance, therianthropy, and teleportation ... who could blame you for becoming the greatest trickster of them all? So wear your crown of baleful maleficence with pride; let mirth and mayhem stand ready at your side, anticipating your every command. Test their mettle knowing you have nothing to fear; you are Mischief, and you were made to rule.

Decide for yourself if you want people to take a whiff of you doused in any of these. Heroically doused, that is.

(Via GeekTyrant)