Chosen One of the Day: Peter Capaldi's hair

Contributed by
May 11, 2017

Much has been made about the cruel reality of Doctor Who seeming to finally nail Peter Capaldi's Doctor this year, his last. And people will tell you it's due to Peter's acting, or his brilliant speeches, or to a writing staff who have taken their lumps through some inconsistent seasons past and come through to the other side.

These people are all idiots. There is one reason and one reason only for the ascent of the Twelfth Doctor to godlike status.

Peter Capaldi's hair.

Sure, we snicker at comments about those attack eyebrows, but it's the follicles just to the north where this Scottish swearer really shows his stripes. In Series 8, when Capaldi's rebel timelord was new to us, his hair was timid, afraid, barely willing to show itself to the world.

This was how his hair was introduced to us on screen:

The worst Capaldi. Look at him, even he looks unhappy that this is his hair. He knows

Why would anyone willingly cut that hair like that when this is an option:

The Best Capaldi.

This hair is grumpy.

This hair says “Hello, please come look at my hair with me throughout time and space. If you defeat enough Daleks I may even let you run your fingers through it.”

This hair might save you from a mummy, maybe, if it feels like it.

This hair takes you to the end of time to help you out with your girl problems.

You're probably wondering, okay but does it look good under hats? Hell yeah it does!

Sunglasses too? Yeah, sunglasses too.

Look, are you gonna keep asking questions all day or are you gonna come stare at this hair with us?

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