Hey! It's me. The Master.
You know ... super awesome guy who with a goatee (except for that time I was a lady, when I was also super awesome), wears a lot of black, takes over the world, makes the Doctor look stupid.
Feels like we haven't spoken in a while, SYFY WIRE, but that's only because I've been so busy winning. Remember that time I was Prime Minister? Or when I framed the Doctor for assassinating the Time Lord President? Or, uh ... when I let a guy get eaten by a blow-up chair?
If you didn't know (or forgot somehow) about some of my most incredible wins (so incredible, the best, really) then here's your opportunity to do something really amazing -- watch a video.
You will watch this video about me. I am the Master. You will obey me.
... come on, man, it's only, like, two minutes. Just be cool. Like me. The Master. I definitely wrote this and this is really me. So watch this video or I'll gas your leaders and then decimate the human population. Or get mean doggie teeth. Because I'm a menace.