Don’t drink the water, because they want you to. At least El Rey Network wants you to.
Someone at El Rey was genius enough to mutate footage from Eli Roth’s Cabin Fever into this gruesomely hilarious commercial for DownHomeWater™ (dihydrogen monoxide). In case you don’t get that this is not a real advertisement, you should once it escalates to bloody projectile vomiting.
You may actually believe the first 15 seconds of this if you’ve never seen Cabin Fever. It starts off as borderline smarmy advertising with Jeff and Marcy’s sun-soaked moments as a backdrop before the before virus ravages everyone. Who doesn’t want a cooling sensation from drinking water that hasn’t been approved for human consumption by any government agency? Note the American Horror Story-esque font that appears on the sign outside the cabin, which should make anyone want to run screaming into the woods before so much as touching a bottle. Just watch out for infected hobos.
When the marketing has just about hypnotized you into a false sense of security, prepare to get visually soaked in blood, blood, and more blood, with a chaser of melting flesh. Remember, these are real patients, not actors.
The makers of DownHomeWater give potential patients a warning in a reassuring voice, just as any legal drug commercial should:
“Stop drinking DownHomeWater if you experience reddening of the skin or eyes, unexpected epidermal tearing, involuntary loss of plasma or uncontrollable vomiting.” You may also experience hallucinations of some creep in a rabbit suit holding a stack of pancakes. Additional side effects are too gruesome for the internet.
Thirsty cops may take a special interest in lemonade made with Downhomewater.
If you think about it, this is really not too far off from all those ads for medications that are supposed to not bring on sunshine and flowers and endless sunsets on the beach when they cure you, except for the possible risk of stroke, pulmonary hypertension, and maybe even death. Except those are real.