Silver Surfer
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Credit: Marvel Comics

Excerpts from Silver Surfer's Mixtape Musings

Contributed by
Aug 3, 2020, 3:42 PM EDT (Updated)

You'll never guess what we found hidden behind a framed picture of America's ass. We found the hardest-working intergalactic realtor's flip phone, and the memory was full thanks to several docs named "Surfing the 9-5 hell." Here are some of the contents from the Silver Surfer's mixtape musings:

Track One
Subject: Another day of feeding this god-like being who can't even be bothered to find his own meal. Can you believe he forgot my birthday, again?
Mood: TIRED
Music: Dolly Parton - 9-5

Lyrics that hit:
Workin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin'
Barely gettin' by, it's all takin' and no givin'
They just use your mind and they never give you credit
It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it
9 to 5, for service and devotion
You would think that I would deserve a fat promotion
Want to move ahead but the boss won't seem to let me
I swear sometimes that man is out to get me!

Track Two
Subject: Missing Zen-La. Missing Shalla-Bal. 
Mood: NOSTALGIC
Music: OutKast - Prototype

Lyrics that hit:
Fight off the shit and flush the waste down
The pipes of my life flow deep into the ground
Find my purpose on the surface of this earth this
Planet's standards to me they have no purpose

No possibility of getting out cause the shit you make is killing me and my ears, and my peers
I hear the end is near, no fear
We disappear, then reappear again in a fresh new light
I hope it's peaceful and cloudy cause if it's not we gotta fight like, fight like

Track Three
Subject:
Something better has to come, right? I couldn't have sacrificed my life for billions of others for nothing, right?
Mood: Needing inspiration 
Music: Lupe Fiasco - Kick, Push 

Lyrics that hit:
First got it when he was six didn't know any tricks
Matter fact first time he got on it he slipped
Landed on his hip and busted his lip
For a week he had to talk with a lisp like this
Now we can end the story right here
But shorty didn't quit it was something in the air
Yea he said it was something so appealing
He couldn't fight the feeling something about it
He knew he couldn't doubt it couldn't understand it brand it
Since the first kick flip he landed
Labeled a misfit a bandit cucump cucump cucump
His neighbors couldn't stand it
So he was banished to the park started in the morning
Wouldn't stop till after dark
Yea when they said it's getting late in here so I'm sorry young man there's no skating here

Track Four
Subject: How is it possible to feel so unfulfilled when I'm doing something so ... so noble? Who am I to even call what I'm doing noble? Pretty self-righteous of me. 
Mood: EMPTY
Music: James Blake - Retrograde

Lyrics that hit:
Suddenly I'm hit
It's the starkness of the dawn
And your friends are gone
And your friends won't come
So show me where you fit
So show me where you fit

Credit: Getty Images

Track Five
Subject: Found one of the most massive planets to date, and he couldn't even say thank you. I hate it here. 
Mood: SET IT OFF
Music: Sum 41 - Fatlip

Lyrics that hit:
I don't want to waste my time
Become another casualty of society
I'll never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity
And back down
Don't count on me, to let you know when
Don't count on me, I'll do it again
Don't count on me, it's the point you're missing
Don't count on me, cause I'm not listening

Track Six
Subject: What am I doing? No, really? What the hell am I doing with my life? I often think of the experience I could have had, but even that would have never been thanks to Galactus. 
Mood: LOST
Music: Gabriel Garzon - Montao - Fruitflies

Lyrics that hit: 
Can't find a way back home
We can't change the way the wind blows
No, we can't find the way back home

And while we try to sleep, forgotten dreams
They beg of us to count them
So we back and forth with the sheep
Our cloudy coats, they gleam

How we bleat
Afraid to up and wander
Let the wolf get you while you're alone

Track Seven
Subject: I try to keep Shalla-Bal off my mind, but I can't. I have to make my way back to her. 
Mood: LONGING 
Music: Nao - Orbit

Lyrics that hit: 
It's just you, it's just me
I lost you in dreams
Now I'm falling
Please don't catch, let me break
Into pieces of hate
Still I'm soaring
Kind of sad but you remind me
You remind me of a love that I once knew
Kind of sad but you remind me
You remind me of a love who outgrew me too

Track Eight
Subject: Watch the birth of a new galaxy today. I've seen them plenty of times before, but they never stop making me feel a way.
Mood: OPTIMISTIC
Music: N.E.R.D. - Love Bomb 

Lyrics that hit:
Can't you see?
This is the Truman show baby
Cause when they fight who dies is you
Oh what if you unscrew me
We've got the same gears and same tools
But how you gonna catch up with your head hanging down
What'cha see staring at the ground
I believe, even without a clue
You've got sunlight
And it can be your guide
No more political dreams
Not another excuse
Don't need another love song when you the love bomb

To just blow us away
To freakin' blow the lights out
Turning night to day
Hear it from miles away
Just to make it right now

Track Nine
Subject: It's always, "I feel the great hunger upon me, my Silver Surfer." It's never, "How is my Silver Surfer doing?" 
Mood: ANGSTY
Music: Leikeli47 - Attitude

Lyrics that hit:
I was 15 minutes late because I tried to be great
Dancing on my fate
Your opinion, not today
They said, "What's it gonna take?"
I said I wanna bigger plate

I don't own a welcome mat
Give me the proper feet and stand back

Track Ten
Subject: I just don't understand why such a powerful being couldn't figure out another way to sustain himself that doesn't involve destroying everything.
Mood: FED UP
Music: Mary J. Blige - No More Drama

Lyrics that hit: 
Why'd I play the fool
Go through ups and downs
Knowing all the time
You wouldn't be around
Or maybe I like the stress
Cause I was young and restless
But that was long ago
I don't wanna cry no more
No more pain (no more pain)
No more game (no more game, messin' with my mind)
No drama, no more in my life (no more drama in my life, no one's gonna make me hurt again)
No more tears (no more tears, I'm tired of cryin every night)
No more fears (no more fears, I really don't wanna cry)
No drama, no more in my life (no more drama in my life, I don't ever wanna hurt again)
Wanna speak my mind, wanna speak my mind

Track Eleven
Subject: Sometimes, when I catch my reflection on my board, and I see what I've been turned into, I can't help but wonder who would want me.
Mood: REJECTED 
Music: All American-Reject - Move Along

Lyrics that hit:
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall, everyone stands
Another day, and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Track Twelve

Subject: I can't believe how draining it is to visit the earth whenever I do. So, many extraordinary beings and they still can't help themselves. 
Mood: OVERWHELMED
Music: Kari Faux - Leave Me Alone

Lyrics that hit: 
I find myself doing the same old things
Thinking, "Damn man, where are my friends?"
I guess that love is just for pretend
My views was skewed like a fish eye lens
 

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