The Galactic Empire responds to White House's Death Star rejection

Contributed by
Jan 22, 2013, 5:53 PM EST

Late last week, the White House denied a public petition to construct a Death Star for the United States with a rather cheeky official statement. Now the official Star Wars blog has fired back with its own, equally cheeky official statement direct from the Galactic Empire.

The Empire's statement, titled "Planet Earth Abandons Death Star Project in Face of Superior Galactic Imperial Power," basically accuses the U.S. government of being a bunch of chickens, and claims that even if we did build a planet-destroying space station, we wouldn't know what to do with it.

"'It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,' said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. 'Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.'"

The Empire also takes a couple of cheap shots at Earth, calling it "tiny" and an "unimaginatively named planet," and one Imperial admiral even said we didn't get our math right on how much the thing would cost.

"'The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this miniscule planet does not have our massive means of production,' added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.'"

But the point the Empire was most upset about was the White House's claim that the Death Star designs have a weakness. Despite that being proved by not one but two movies, the Empire still insists the station is sound.

"'Any attacks made upon such a station -- should one ever be built -- would be a useless gesture,' added Motti."

To read the full statement, head over to the link below.

(Via Star Wars)

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