Another week in the books. We're more than halfway through September, but don't tell summer, she's still heating up, I guess.
A lot happened this week, and a lot of it happened at the last possible second, too. Did you catch it all? Or did you look at why "Toad" and "Mario Kart" were trending on Twitter early in the week and then turn off the internet until right now? Who could blame you?
But, hey, let's talk about the news, shall we? Here they are: The five biggest stories from... The Week in Geek!
CAPTAIN MARVEL FINALLY BROKE THE INTERNET FOR REAL
Entertainment Weekly and (one assumes) Brie Larson's agent conspired to "break the internet" a little while ago with some pictures from Captain Marvel. Yawn. Call me when the trailer drops.
Oh. It did drop. Well, okay then!
So the trailer is rad (as we used to say in the '90s), all full of young Samuel L. Jackson, Blockbuster video, and Brie Larson punching old ladies in the face!
The old lady is probably a Skrull. Hopefully? Maybe she kicked a puppy and we just didn't see. I dunno!
What matters is that it looks like Marvel is setting right a really old problem I like to call "Carol Danvers can't catch a f**king break." Y'see, friends, back in the day, Carol got her memories stolen by Rogue of the X-Men. And then she got pregnant against her will while the Avengers were, like, "Congrats?" Then she became an alcoholic for a while. Basically, Carol's comics past is checkered in a way that's kind of a downer.
In her upcoming film, though, it looks like we'll be dealing with her memory loss in a whole new and, hopefully, more interesting way. And that's exciting.
Also exciting is the fact that we got a glimpse of Gemma Chan as Dr. Minn-Erva, a character created by none other than former SYFY WIRE Editor-in-Chief Scott Edelman.
Also, Brie Larson got a selfie hashtag going and it was real sweet.
SONY PLAYSTATION CLASSIC ANNOUNCED
If there's a running theme this week, it's that the '90s are alive and well. Sony has announced it'll be releasing a classic version of its original PlayStation console on Dec. 3, 2018. For $100, you get the console, controllers, and 20 pre-loaded games, including Final Fantasy VII, Tekken 3, Ridge Racer Type 4, and Wild Arms.
Yes, it's a lot like the NES and SNES classic systems. But, hey, this is for Sony fans, and considering that remake of FFVII probably won't be out until 2020 (MAYBE), you might as well find another way to watch Aeris die, right?
No other games are announced yet, but Spyro, Alucard, Solid Snake, and Lara Croft better show up is all I'm saying!
DISNEY'S STREAMING SERVICE STARRING LOKI AND SCARLET WITCH
When you thought of Disney having its own streaming channel, you would be forgiven if you thought it would be a lot of weird, direct-to-VHS type stuff. With all this '90s resurgence fare, I half expect Aladdin's dad to make a comeback.
But, instead, it's looking like Disney plans to drop some serious change on the shows it'll make. While DC will have Titans, Harley Quinn, and Swamp Thing, Disney's Marvel shows on its own service will, reportedly, feature stories starring MCU characters.
Meanwhile, ABC is talking about doing a series with an all-women focus, like A-Force or Fearless Defenders? Fox got The Gifted. Hulu got Runaways. Freeform got Cloak & Dagger. The Marvel TV competition is real.
SO WE'VE SEEN BATMAN'S JUNK, I GUESS
Comics readers and the internet at large saw Bruce Wayne's penis this week.
Here's the gist: Writer Brian Azzarello and artist Lee Bermejo saw the release of the first issue of their new DC Black Label comic, Batman: Damned #1. In it there is a scene where, mid-conversation, we get a panel in which, for the first time in comic book history, Batman's genitalia is on shadowed (but still very visible) display.
DC has gotten rid of the image in digital format and will use only the censored version in future print versions because it's not "additive to the story." I mean... sure.
Anyway, #BadReasonsToCallBatman was trending earlier in the week and I guess we've got a whole new list of reasons now? Moving on...
CARY FUKUNAGA IS BOUND FOR BOND
Hey, remember when Danny Boyle was supposed to direct the 25th James Bond movie but then, suddenly, he wasn't? Well, guess what! Now Cary Fukunaga, the man behind the good season of True Detective and the upcoming Netflix series Maniac, is set to direct instead.
And that is exciting, because Fukunaga is a really interesting director. But also it's kind of a wild decision, because one assumes the Bond producers don't want to lose any more directors and Fukunaga split from True Detective and It (after years of working on it) over creative stuff. So... yeah. Let's hope Fukunaga sticks around. Otherwise...
In the meanwhile, that's all the news I've got. Go in peace. Try not to think about Batman or Toad, I guess? Seriously, what a week. Bye!